Motherhood

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, a time when many mothers reflect on their past as mothers. Some  of us have regrets, but those feelings are more often pushed aside by pride. As I look at my mother life, I sometimes think I shoulda, coulda, done it differently. Then I see bad mothers, and I realize that my regrets are silly. I tried to teach my children to be responsible for their decisions, and that I expected them to be good to themselves, which meant to also be thoughtful and kind to others. Whether they remember it that way or not is irrelevant to the point – I tried to teach my values, and they had the responsibility to accept that or create their own values. And they did.

I guess all of us are influenced as parents by the parents we have. I've already written that my mother totally believed in me and that helped build a self-confidence that brought me success in life. Her faith helped build my own, in a God that has given me strength in adversity and pain. Not to mention Dad whom we all adored for being so perfect that Mother could never quite match him. My kids have seen that in their parents as well, although both of us are far from perfect. We are, like our parents, human and therefore bound to make mistakes.

So what makes a perfect Mother? It's not cookies, although they are nice. It's not meeting your every need, although she will likely try. All mothers are perfect if they practice unconditional love; if they let you experiment with life; if they remember what is was like to be young and support you when your life choices are painful. Mothers' hearts weep when their toddler goes missing in the super store until the loudspeaker describes her kid at the customer service desk. Mothers weep more during junior high, when kids' hormones cause the emotional chaos of great joy and deep depression. When she has young adults, she weeps over their troubled marriages and careers. And God forbid, but if her adult child becomes ill ... the weeping must give way to great strength. Because anything else is unacceptable.

Most mothers do all this and much more, balancing careers and marriage or other relationships with aplomb. I'm proud to be a mother, and I am in awe of my daughter Sheila and my daughters-in-laws Susan and Debra as they shine the Motherhood light in their homes. I am proud they are in my life, and proud of the model they've provided my grandchildren. For the new generation, tomorrow and every day is Mother's Day, filled with unconditional love!